TNA Impact- This monday Impact started at 8 instead of nine, I was excited about the special start time at first because I am partial to TNA over WWE but however my excitement was short lived finding out not long after the start that it would not be a three hour episode but a regular two hour episode instead. I believe this was an attempt to get ratings up and not have to directly compete with WWE's RAW show because when TNA was showing Kurt Angle and Ken Anderson(Kennedy) RAW was show the all American lisp Jack Swagger talking with the ever present John Cena and Randy Orton.
Over all in my opinion TNA had the better show, not only do they have great talent but they use it. Opening with the first meeting of all the members of both team flair(Desmond Wolfe, James Storm, Robert Roode, and Sting) and team hogan(Abyss, Jeff Jarret, RVD and Jeff Hardy) who will meet in the return Lethal Lockdown match at the pay per view Lockdown, resulting in an actual match between RVD and Storm in which RVD is victorious using his trademark split moonsault and rolling thunder but storm gets the last laugh when he smashes a beer bottle into the face of RVD.
Then Rob Terry defends his TNA Global Championship against The Notorious 187 Homicide a match in which Homicide wasn't a complete jobber but in order to sell Terry's extreme power house character wasn't allowed many moves, needless to say the massive Rob Terry successfully defended his title, after the match Homicide attacked Terry with a steel chair a blow hard enough to bend the seat of the chair immensely but Terry shook the shot off and choke slammed the notorious 187. After this the very bisexual Orlando Jordan shows up to piss me off by being terribly gay, gayer than goldust ever dreamed of being and spraying what appeared to be yogurt all over his chest and partially on his face I'm guessing to insinuate sperm this though brief was the second worst moment of the show I'll get to the first one later.
Next would be the Knockouts Lockbox Match, this match concept is one of my favorite women match stipulations of all time, two teams of four knockouts enter the match one team consisting of The Beautiful People(Madison Rain, Velvet Skye and Lacy Von Erich) and Daffney, and the other of ODB, Tara, Angelina Love, and Hamada, each time a competitor scores a pinfall the two people involved are eliminated from the match the winner of the fall getting a key to unlock one of four boxes containing prizes such as The Knockouts Title, Tara's Spider Poison, an open contract for a match and a striptease which is more of a prize for us. Tara, Angelina Love, Daffney and Velvet Skye are the winners of this contest and the boxes are opened near the end of the broadcast.
Here we are rounding into the nine o'clock mark time for RAW to start and in a genius maneuver TNA places the most highly anticipated match of the night at this spot on the card. The match I'm referring to is of course Mr Anderson vs Kurt Angle in a ladder match in which the winner will have a key to the cage door for they're match at Lockdown, the match is intense and hard hitting TNA is no stranger to having great matches on there TV broadcast, however it had many commercial interruptions that really bugged the hell out of me, the match ends with Anderson choking Angle with his warrior medal chain causing him to pass out and fall from the ladder and enabling Anderson to climb the ladder and grab the key.
Matt Morgan, no doubt one of the best power houses in the company announces that he will continue to defend the TNA tag titles with his new partner... himself. Yes after injuring the partner he originally won the titles with in a one on one match a few weeks ago The Blueprint has decided that he will take on all comers by himself. Which leads to the next match on the card, a number one contender ship match between team 3d aka the Dudley Boys and The Motor City Machine Guns. This match gets to the point where the Dudley's are about to do there signature Dudley death drop on one of the Machine Guns when the band aka the wolf pack(hall, nash, and syxx) along with bubba the wasted money love sponge come out and cause the match to end by disqualification when they attack the dudleys setting up a match for next week's impact between the two teams.
The Pope D'angelo Dinero in an attempt to prove himself to his congregation and himself decides that he will give his title shot at Lockdown to Desmond Wolfe if he can defeat him in their match. In the name of keeping Pope on the roll he is on the outcome is that he defeats Wolfe after which The phenomenal One champion AJ Styles hits the ring and catches the pope with the styles clash, then in the most predictable moment of the night Abyss comes out to the pope's aid which ultimately ends with Wolfe and Styles on top after Wolfe attacks Abyss with a fire extinguisher.
After this match, the main event by the way, the boxes for the knockouts lockbox match were unlocked. The first box was opened by Velvet Skye and it contained the open contract for any match any time with anyone. The Second box opened by Tara contained her annoyingly pointless pet spider Poison, of course this would mean that Tara would no longer be champion. The third and fourth box opened at the same time contained the striptease and the knockouts title, this is where the worst moment of the show happens, Angelina Love opens the box with the title meaning Daffney would have to strip needless to say my dreams would have to just remain dreams as daffney strips she is interrupted by Lacy Von Erich before she can even get her top off, then the fight that erupted between former champion Tara and new champion Love made its way to the ring after which the announcement is made that Velvet Skye is using her open contract to get a shot at the Knockouts title next week on impact. This being the end of the show being kind of a disappointment aside I would have to say this was a three and a half star episode of Impact.
WWE Monday Night RAW- One of the most disappointing episodes of RAW I have ever seen, The night contained its usual short matches and long time wasting promo spots. The show begins with a good wrestler that should never have the microphone Jack Swagger talking about being the new World Heavyweight Champion after cashing in his money in the bank briefcase on last Friday's smackdown against Chris Jericho who had already suffered a beating at the hands of Edge aka the worst face ever. Then for no other reason than Vince McMahon has a gay crush on him the WWE Champion John Cena comes out to make a challenge to the All American Lisp to a match provoking the WWE's apex predator Randy Orton to come out and also challenge Swagger, then out of no where The Miz and Big Show come out (yeah I know what you're thinking too much awesome at one time) and say that they are the only reason people watch the show anyway, which needless to say attracted the nights host gay list David Otunga from NXT to come out and start pretending like he is the booker for the night and make matches like John Cena and Batista(rivals I may add) teaming up against Show Miz, for the Unified Tag Team Titles, and Orton vs Jack Swagger.
Sheamus would take on Kofi Kingston and needless to say defeats him after which beating him with a lead pipe and calling out Triple H who comes out and uses his patented sledge hammer against the Celtic warrior chasing him out of the arena.
Then in contrast to TNA's best woman's match concept is WWE's worst woman's match concept the dress to impress red carpet battle royal in which the RAW diva's wrestled in dresses, the winner was Eve who now gets a shot at the Diva's title held by Maryse.
I refuse to talk about the stupidity that was displayed in the tag team matches of the night because all it was, was a retarded effort to further the feud between Cena and Batista who will have a last man standing match at extreme rules.
Now that we've gotten that out of the way, we can talk about something I'm excited about that happened on this week's RAW, the return of The Million Dollar Title on the arm of Ted Dibiase Jr. and the fact that he beat Christian in the best match of the night in my opinion furthering my theory that he will be built up as a main guy in singles competition.
Randy Orton defeated champion Jack Swagger in a non title match after reversing Jack's signature gutwrench powerbomb into an RKO. The main event was more tag team stupidity featuring the Animal and the gay list, overall RAW was a huge let down this week and how they have such great ratings with an atrocious show like that I have no clue.
Top Ten Most Underutilized Talent
10. Matt Hardy
9. MVP
8. Goldust
7. Shelton Benjamin
6. Raven
5. Kane
4. Jay Lethal
3. Christian
2. Christopher Daniels
1. Matt Striker
honorable mention- Evan Bourne, Jesse, and Ted Dibiase JR
If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions email us at ryanswrestlingblog@yahoo.com
Thanks For Reading,
Ryan Rampage
"It's still real to me dammit"
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